It was a million year trip. Peering out the window flows of water caught my eye. The car stopped running. Stiff bodys hauled themselves up and into the villa.
Boredom captured us and locked us in a cage. Lets go to DeBretts water park said a voice out of nowhere. Up and up and up then down. Pitch black caught me...
Minutes later we were listening to the loudest thing in the world. Bolders of dirt flung out from the dirt covered tyres. Snap, snap, snap the camera said ferociously. Motorbikes flew past the finish line giving us all a treat.
The podium caught the riders eyes everyone wanted to be there. I couldn't believe it we were standing next to the world champion Ben Townly! The speaker roared tremendously for 2nd and 3rd. And the winner is... Cody Cooper!!!
Nice work Jade. You have written a really great story and I especially enjoyed your use of personification with ''Snap, snap, snap the camera said ferociously''. I also thought your use of short sentences increased the action in the story.
ReplyDeleteWell done!
Thanks Mr Spice for your positive comment.
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